Never Discuss Politics....Too Late!

There is a common phrase, "Never discuss religion or politics with company".  I tend to agree as each person has his or her own thoughts on both subjects.  However, I am gonna go there anyway with politics. 

I realize that there is a presidential election in the works.  I see headlines on the papers and my Yahoo home page.  I fully admit I know very, very little about the candidates.  I really don't care to know.  That sounds bad like I am apathetic.  I am not apathetic.  I just don't trust anyone seeking political office.  I know that I shouldn't judge the whole basket of apples because of one bad apple.  But, it seems to me that any more it is mostly bad apples in the basket and then maybe, just maybe, once in a long while you get one really good apple. 

I also feel that regardless of who is President of the USA, the actual power lies in the Senate and House of Representatives.  That is a whole lot of people in a tight group that are working against ONE person, the president.  And, I meant to say against because that is how it often appears. 

I also strongly feel that what the current president is dealing with is the "fallout" from the prior administration.  So if the fallout is good, the president looks good.  If the fallout is bad, then the president gets slammed.  It is a difficult situation.

Therefore, I believe the president is sort of like a figure head who has to embody the traits of honestly, loyalty to the country, intelligence, stature and presence.  This way the president looks trustworthy and humble whether it is a good time or a bad time.  We, the common people, must feel like the president cares about us no matter how difficult the Senate and House make things for us lower and middle class people.  We need a man (or woman) and a cabinet that we can trust.

So I have been pondering the ultimate presidential candidate.  This person must have all of the qualities I have mentioned.  This person must have experience.  This person must be above reproach.   I thought and thought.  Pondered and queried.  I have come up with the most wonderful and absolutely perfect person for the job of president.  This person has oodles of experience, is totally trustworthy, has stature and exemplifies dignity and intelligence.  He is a man of the people for sure.  He has a fabulous speaking voice.  He cannot nor would he ever be deemed less than perfect for the position.  Ready?  Are you really ready?  Morgan Freeman!  Yes, I mean Morgan Freeman the actor.

Now let me state my case for Mr. Freeman...first of all his last name is superb!  Freeman...FREE  MAN!  Who would disagree with that!  No one I hope!  Then there are Mr. Freeman's credentials.  He has played the president in so many movies that you cannot deny he has the experience!  Plus he has portrayed Alex Cross in the movies so that means he is a true crime fighter with high intellectual reasoning.  And, for heaven's sake, he drove Miss Daisy!  Speaking of heaven, he has even played God!  Now, how can you argue with that?  So, as far as I am concerned, Mr. Morgan Freeman is my write-in vote for president in the next election!

Now that this decision is made, I realized that Mr. Freeman will need a vice president and 15 cabinet members to compliment his new position as president.  So, now that requires an extraordinary amount of contemplation.

The first person I will nominate is not really, but sort of, a cabinet member.  This is the Chief of Staff.  I vote for Steven Spielberg.  He has directed many people in many projects and he has VISION.  So he will be able to keep the team cohesive and focused on the four-year project.  He will be great!  Done.

Now the Vice President should certainly be a very strong woman. We can't allow this to be a boys club, you know.  This woman needs to be likable to other women but remain strong in a very patriarchal society.  This woman is most definitely Michelle Rodriguez.  I wouldn't doubt that SHE would press the red button without hesitation, if you know what I mean!  But, she is also feminine but not too feminine and is always presented as strong and willing to take on anyone.  Plus, I don't think she will stand in the sidelines like a puppet vice president.  I think she will be "out there" backing up Mr. Freeman!  Two Done!

Now several of the cabinets posts are easy peasy to fill.  For instance, Homeland Security.  Duh!  Bruce Willis of course!  Veteran Affairs:  Gary Sinise!  I mean, he was Lieutenant Dan.  Justice:  Sam Waterston, he has a lot of experience in legal matters!  Secretary of Labor should be shared by Sally Field and Danny Glover.  The two of them harvested a huge field of cotton in "Places in the Heart" under extreme conditions so I think they both know about labor!  The no brainer is Health and Human Services.  Although he is gruff, the best nominee for this position is Hugh Laurie!  He can figure out all kinds of weird stuff SO if we have some sort of pandemic, we need a guy like "House" on our side.  The interior secretary should definitely be Robert Redford.  I respect this guy and admire how he cares about people and the environment.  Defense is so, so, so easy.... Lucy Lawless and "The Rock".  I wouldn't mess with either one of them!  I wouldn't want to go up against Xena and The Scorpion King on any day.  So, let's see that is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 of the fifteen cabinet positions DONE!

I am a bit on the fence about the agriculture position... hmmmm... I really think Kevin Costner.  I know he is a bit controversial but he is likable.  He DID plow under the corn field in "Field of Dreams" BUT to his credit, he did get people to drive alllllll the way out in the middle of nowhere.  So hopefully this would be doable!   Eight is DONE!

Okay now another easy one!  Secretary of the Treasury:  this can only be a woman with some sense and that person must be Oprah Winfrey.  She has a gazillion dollars but still really cares about the "regular" person.  The housing secretary must be "Holmes on Homes":  None other than Mike Holmes.  He is a shoe in or maybe I should say that he has this position nailed!  The Secretary of Education most definitely is Matthew Morrison.  If he can teach a bunch of GLEEKS and ward off Sue Sylvester then I am all for his nomination!  The obvious choice for transportation is John Travolta.  I mean he can fly a plane.  He could fly Air Force One for goodness sake!  Not to mention, he can navigate bikes, cars, RV's, boats and every other kind of moving vehicle!  So now that is 9, 10, 11 and 12.  DONE!

Now I am down to three more positions to fill.  The first is energy... this is a tough one!  My nominee is Harrison Ford.  Now this man has a lot of ENERGY!  And, he is very resourceful.  Ohhh!  Good fit!  Yes!  Lucky number thirteen has been filled!

Then there is Secretary of Commerce.  I learned that this position requires a working knowledge of weather and how it will affect the United States.  Therefore, I vote for Nicole Kidman as she did, in fact, play a weather girl in "To Die For".  She died in the end because she was not a nice person SO, I have already figured this out, her Deputy Director of Commerce will be Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel.  I trust him completely but she has appeal to start things off!  So that takes care of number fourteen with a backup!

Finally, we have the Secretary of State.  This person is very, very important.  This person must be intelligent, have keen observation skills and a down to earth connection to this country and its people.  This person must be quick witted but have an even temper.  And, must  appeal to the masses and always have the president's ear.  This person must deal with foreign countries and keep the peace.  So, I feel  emphatically that this person must also posses humor.  We can't have too many serious people in the cabinet!  What would be the FUN in that?  So, without hesitation, this person MUST BE Tom Hanks!  He is so likable!  He was Forest Gump for goodness sake!  He talked to a soccer ball.  He played a piano with his feet! He used to wear a dress!  He would be AWESOME!

So, here goes!  Morgan Freeman, Steven Spielberg, Michelle Rodriguez, Bruce Willis, Gary Sinise, Sam Waterston, Sally Field & Danny Glover, Hugh Laurie, Robert Redford, Lucy Lawless & The Rock, Kevin Costner, Oprah Winfrey, Mike Holmes, Matthew Morrison, John Travolta, Harrison Ford, Nicole Kidman & Jim Cantore, and Tom Hanks!

I am very psyched about all of my choices for President, Vice President, Chief of Staff and the fifteen cabinet members!  And I didn't have to spend billions of dollars campaigning either!  Wow!

Now I must close by saying that there is one more very important position to be filled.  This person deals with all, and I mean all, of my newly nominated staff.  This person is the "go between", the day to day decision maker, the voice of the president, the grass roots negotiator and the person who can know a lot of things but never, ever tell.  This person is the White House Secretary.  Imagine the White House.    Imagine the big oak desk.  Imagine who might be behind that desk.  Now close your eyes!  No peaking.  Wait that won't work!  You won't be able to read my blog.  Geez.  No element of surprise.  Darn!

My ultimate perfect White House Secretary would be Ellen Degeneres!!!  Just think on that one for a while!  I am right!

Until next time,

Anne

On Second Thought.....

In my last blog, I pondered being desensitized to violence in movies and television.  And, I seriously thought that I may not watch such horrific shows in the future, especially zombie flicks.  Screw that!

If we are going to have a zombie apocalypse, I am going to be ready!!!!

So my first order of business was to gather information on being ready for a zombie apocalypse!  Even though I have watched the movies and television shows, that just isn't enough.  So, I went to the "Nerd Website" and took the quiz which rates your likelihood of survival in a zombie attack.  It was a very cool quiz but I knew that I was in a bit of trouble.  I don't like weapons, you see, with the exception of my bull whip (don't ask and don't assume) which I do not feel would kill any zombie at any time.  But OTHER than that tiny little problem, I felt pretty good about my quiz answers.  You see, I have friends and family, that LOVE weapons and they will protect me, right?  WRONG!  The quiz results said I was DEAD.  Not just dead but really, really and truly DEAD.  Dead like the Wicked Witch of the West dead.   I would be positively, absolutely, unequivocally DEAD. 

Obviously I have work to do.  So, I Googled "how to survive a zombie apocalypse".  Did you know that the CDC has an article on just that subject?  Really?  I thought it was a joke, but unless I am totally gullible, which is a possibility, the article is real.  The problem with this article is that it doesn't address weapons.  So, I am back to square one. 

My first order of business should be to purchase "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks.  On my next trip to Books A Million that will be done.  Then I have to READ it!  I will not get the info I need through osmosis.  Secondly, I have to take a weapons class.  This is crucial to survival.  Being that I am a perfectionist, I plan on being an excellent shot.  I AM still a little hesitant about the whole sharp implement thingy.  But, I do understand that noise attracts zombies so I must overcome this squeamishness and get on with the business of using cold steel to impale a zombie.  Man up, Anne!

Then, even though I haven't read the guide yet, I realize I have to have proper clothing, tools, camping equipment, ample supplies and lots of water.  I also need a plan of hooking up with other people in order to survive.  You know who you are so get ready, I will be coming!  I also need a vehicle or mode of transportation to escape. 

Now here is where I differ, I believe, from the average zombie survivalist.  In every single movie or T.V. show I have seen, the survivors are traveling in a car, SUV, sometimes a tank or just plain walking.  Why?  I have the ultimate answer!  AIRPLANE!  On my list of to do's is flying lessons!  It worked in the movie "2012", so it will work for zombies.  Why put yourself in harm's way, IF you can totally avoid any confrontation, which gets me out of using those sharp implements at close range, and just FLY OVER all of the zombies to a safe destination?  Am I wrong?  I don't think so.

So, I have to buy a plane, learn how to fly it, have it handy, store fuel, gather supplies and pack that sucker.  Make sure I get animal carriers for all of our pets... I was really worried about our pets... I don't want to leave them behind and have them turn into zombie cats and dogs.  Icky and just plain wrong!  It would be very irresponsible of me too.  Anywhoo, get animal carriers and situate them in the plane to ensure the pets' safety.  I already have a van so that will take everyone from point A to point B where the plane is located for loading and take off.  I also have to set plans to rendezvous with our "group" who will also be in the plane on our way to safety!  Walla! Isn't this a great idea!?!?!

Now in every "end of the world" movie, there is always a "safe place".  The problem is finding out where it is.  The Himalayas seem popular but that is really far away.  Sometimes it is Vermont..really? Vermont?  Whatever.  Sometimes it is Colorado but I don't know about that.  I like the idea of a remote island.  That sounds nice but there are hurricanes and only sea water.  What if I run out of water purification tablets?  I would really be in trouble.  The desert is totally out.  I hate the heat.  I have heard rumors that zombies cannot survive cold temperatures.  I wonder.  I have actually pondered this unknown fact and that is a little scary to me.  

Okay.  Let's analyze.  Zombies are dead.  Zombies are constantly decomposing.  Which brings me to another observation, if zombies are dead and decomposing and the mean ones really look like survivors of Auschwitz then WHY in the world are they so STRONG?  I don't get that.  I would be mean too if I was dead and decomposing but strong?  Where does the strength come from exactly?  Resilience I can totally understand..zombies don't care, they don't have feelings, they just keep coming and usually very, very slowly except for those running zombies which are just frightening.  So if we deduce that zombies are resilient then I am going to assume that whether it is cold or hot, zombies will survive until they totally decompose.  And another question, how long would it take for the zombies to totally decompose?  There has to be a time line, right?  This question I cannot answer.  Alas, the reason for the plane! And back to my thought on a safe haven.

The haven must have certain things like a fresh water source, be of moderate temperature for the comfort of the group, have edible plant life, perhaps little critters for a food source, although we could bring chickens and a rooster....not a bad thought.  They would fit in the plane!  Back to the plan!  I believe a higher elevation with an excellent view of the surrounding area would be best as well.  I also have to be able to land the plane and have access to this area.  I guess that means that I have to have a second vehicle waiting at the plane's landing destination, all fueled up and ready to go to the final stopping point at the safe haven.  And this would have to be an all terrain vehicle.  I would probably need two of these vehicles for all the stuff.  hmmmmm...  this is getting expensive and complicated.  Wow, I never realized how difficult a zombie apocalypse would be!  No wonder people in the movies just WALK!

I think I will just stay where I am, barricade the place and booby trap it against zombies, stockpile supplies and get busy on that weapons training and learn to fight up close and personal if necessary!  Watch out zombies!  Annie's packing! 

Wow!  That means I can still sleep in my King Size super soft bed!  Cool!

Until next time,

Anne

Just When I Was Beginning To "Like" Zombies

It has come to my attention that I have changed in regard to my tolerance for blood, guts and violence in movies and television shows.  In the not so recent past, I was totally unable to watch anything with any kind of violence perpetrated by knives, swords, arrows, axes, machetes or chainsaws.  I was none to partial to machine guns, bazookas, hand grenades or double barrel shotguns either.  Now, flame throwers I could handle.  I didn't mind seeing a person on fire but I did mind all the blood.  What does that say about me anyway?

But, like I said.  I have changed.  It started out small.  I've watched crime shows and sometimes on those television shows you see the aftermath of a crime or maybe a smidgen of violence.  You might see blood on the floor or a body part dismembered.   I got to be okay with those images.  Then I started watching movies like "The Terminator".  I didn't mind seeing aliens killed or shot up.  They aren't real.  They aren't people so it was okay.  Finally, in recent years, I have watched movies or television shows about vampires and/or werewolves.  This is like "the missing link" in anthropology for me.  A vampire is already dead but still a person but not really an alien.  So, I adjusted my thinking and "allowed" for the vampire violence to instill images in my head.  Unbeknownst to me I totally got "sucked" into "Dusk to Dawn" without realizing it was a vampire movie until it was too late to turn back!  So far, my only "just say no!" vampire movie is "Vampires" by John Carpenter.  That is still way too gory for me!

Even more recently, I have come to see another "creature" in television and film that is also like the vampire.  It is the ZOMBIE!  I had no idea how popular zombies are in society today.  I have seen "I am Legend" and all of the "Resident Evil" movies to date.  I accounted these "likes" to the fact that I really like Will and Mila, respectively.  Apparently, a whole lot of people spend a whole lot of time thinking and writing about a zombie apocalypse.   So now, I have expanded my internship on being a zombie aficionado by watching the "Dawn of the Dead", "Day of the Dead", "Night of the Living Dead" and all the other Deads.  I particularly like the Dead movie with Ving Rhames.  He is so BIG and knows how to kill a zombie efficiently! 

So now, here I am in the present moment.  My new favorite show is, would you believe it, "The Walking Dead" on AMC.  This is a zombie apocalypse television show that comes on Sunday night.  There is a group of people that have banded together to keep each other safe from the zombies.  The group has made their way to a reasonably safe haven at a farm whose owners allow the group to live on the land.  The group has a wonderful mix of characters:  the former police officer and his wife and son, the police officer's tough guy best friend, a good ole country boy, a woman who used to be a civil rights lawyer, a lady who lost her daughter to a zombie attack, a really fast running oriental fellow and then DALE.  Dale is my favorite character on this show.  Dale is played by Jeffrey DeMunn.  I love this actor.  He was in one of my favorite movies of all time, "Citizen X".  He played a Russian serial killer who made history due to the number of young women he killed.  I have to explain that I have always been fascinated by serial killers.  I know this sounds odd.  I am not fascinated because of the violence.  I am fascinated because I wanted to be an FBI forensic pathologist who catches and stops the serial killer with evidence.  This particular story was very important because Russian leaders did not want to admit that such a horrific person could be a part of their society.  They denied information to the public and in turn "allowed" for the killing spree to continue.  That is, until the newly appointed detective, risked EVERYTHING to make the killing public and actually bring in an FBI profiler and forensic technology from the US to help solve the crimes.  None of this sat well with the Russian hierarchy.  But, in the end, Citizen X was caught and Jeffrey DeMunn did a fabulous job with the role. 

Anywhooo, when I saw that he was portraying Dale on "The Walking Dead" , I was thrilled.  His role in the show is to play "the voice of reason" in an unreasonable world.  That is why I aligned to him.  His character, who is approximately 60 years old and has a lot of life experience, is all about protecting everyone, scavenging for supplies, keeping a look out at all times for approaching zombies, keeping all of the weapons in good working order and in a safe place so someone doesn't go off half cocked and shoot something or someone they shouldn't.  Dale is the GOOD GUY.  He bridges a gap between the meek and the hot heads.  He IS the voice of reason on this show. 

So on the most recent episode which aired last Sunday, the group has a dilemma.  They have found an injured young man that got separated from another group or should I say gang.  The dilemma is whether to trust or not trust this young man.  Most of the group feel the young man should be killed for fear he will hurt someone OR reconnect with his gang and terrorize the group at the farm.  In extreme times you must take extreme measures to protect everyone is the overall consensus.  Dale does NOT agree!  Vehemently!  Dale feels that everyone wants to kill this young man, who I admit appears somewhat untrustworthy, for something he may NEVER do.  Dale pleads his case to everyone.  None of the group seem to agree with Dale's point of view at all.  But, in the end, no one could kill the young man.  So, Dale, the voice of reason, got his message through to the group.  Yeah Dale!  Yeah Jeffrey DeMunn!

So, the episode continues and it is night time and Dale is walking the perimeter, gun in hand.  He hears a noise and readies his rifle.  All of the sudden, here comes a zombie and it pounces on Dale and knocks him to the ground.  The rest of the group hears Dale yelling and they come running.  This has happened before on the show and the zombie ends up getting their head blown off or impaled through the skull or something else gory and violent and bloody and, YEAH,  for a dead zombie!  And I can watch the whole thing and not even flinch!  Too cool! 

Again, anywhoo, Dale is wrestling with the zombie who is quite icky; the group is running to Dale's rescue and do you know what happened?  The zombie disemboweled  Dale right on prime time television. Are you kidding me?  Really?  This cannot be happening.  My Dale...MY Jeffrey DeMunn....the voice of reason...GONE?  Honestly.  I was so mad.  I was ready to write to the writer of the show and ask "What were YOU thinking?" 

So, now I have been thinking.  I have changed my tolerance for viewing violence on television and movies.  Jeffrey DeMunn's character in this episode was talking about losing your humanity and tolerating behavior that changes who you are as a sensible human being.  Hmmmmm. 

Perhaps I will be doing something else on Sunday evenings in the future.

Until next time,

Anne

Damn Those Fitted Sheets

I love to clean.  I have always loved to clean.  No one ever made me do it.  No one expected it of me.  I was just born with a cleaning gene.  My mom even has a picture of me when I was 2 years old running a vacuum!  I looked like I knew what I was doing even as a toddler.  I also like to organize.  Actually, I live to organize.  The more disorganized something is the more I like it.  And then, I figure out the puzzle of how to organize the mess and make it all good and wonderful and accessible and handy and pretty.  Finally, my passion in life is to decorate.  I LOVE to decorate!  My favorite part about decorating is to use what you have and not have to buy anything or to buy very little.  It is amazing what you already have around the house that you can use as decorative items.

I have read the decorating books.  I have watched the home improvement shows on television.  My favorite show used to be "This Old House" with Bob Villa.  But honestly, he got on my nerves.  I felt like he talked people into things that they didn't want to do which ended up costing the home owners more money than they wanted to spend.  All for the sake of Bob's show.  Not a good thing. 

My new favorite show is "Clean House".  Now, that is a good show!  The crew defines the rooms to be improved, cleans out the clutter with the help of the home owners, has a yard sale, matches and uses the money to create a real home improvement budget for the owners, donates certain items for the project such as carpet or furnishings, does all of the work while allowing the home owners to stay and relax at a local hotel and then.... TA DA!!!  The crew then shows the new and improved home to the owners and there are a lot of ooohhhss and aaahhhhs and happy tears!  It has all of the elements I like... cleaning, organizing and decorating! 

Unlike the show, "Hoarders".  I don't like "Hoarders".  "Hoarders" is like watching a train wreck that makes you sick to your stomach but you can't look away.  Luckily, I don't have to watch the channel as I have the power to skip it completely.  After seeing the first one or two episodes, I just can't watch it.  I don't want to watch it.  Those poor people are ill and don't realize it.  I hope they get the help they need to stop hoarding.

Anywhooooo, back to my original thought.   I love to clean, organize and decorate.  Yeah!  I like happy clouds and happy trees and happy decorations in my world to paraphrase Bob Ross.  So, lately, I have put myself on a real mission to clean, organize and decorate our place.  It is a small space that requires much thought on the organizing method.  I really have to utilize all of the space very wisely.  I drew up a plan initially but the plan has evolved with action and had to be revised.  These were good revisions that presented themselves as the project progressed.  I am becoming very happy and having FUN, FUN, FUN!  Alas, there is still much to do and I am sooooo looking forward to each and every step of the process.

My latest step is how to handle the extra linens without a linen closet and only one little shelf.   Now mind you I don't have that many extra linens but there are some sheets, towels, curtains and tablecloths.  Since we live in a downstairs apartment, there is a "closet" of sorts under the stairwell, like the one in "Harry Potter" that holds the sump pump.  So, that is going to be the one and only closet in the place.  So, I went out and bought three space bags (on sale at Kmart!).  These are the bags that you put a bunch of stuff in, zip it up like a Ziploc bag, attach your vacuum hose to it, suck out all of the air, compact everything and then store it.  It makes your items water tight and bug proof.  Bought it, did it and it's done.  BUT, here is the problem.  The sheets.  Those annoying King Size bed sheets.  Do you know how hard it is to fold King Size bed sheets when you are only one person and you stand a mere 5'3".  My wingspan isn't long enough nor am I tall enough to keep the darn thing off the floor.  The flat sheet isn't too bad but I never get it just right.  The corners are always off and it ends up lopsided.  But, at least it is folded.  Now, the fitted sheet is another story altogether.  I hate fitted sheets.  I can't fold that thing for anything.  I have tried.  God knows I have tried.  I get so unnerved trying to fold the unfoldable that I end up balling the stupid sheet up at the end.  Frustrating!  Then my space bag looks "off" like it is pregnant with a three month "baby bump".  Not to mention that my one little shelf (that holds the one extra set of sheets) cannot look "appointed" because everything else is neat and tidy and then you have this one fitted sheet that jacks up the whole thing.  Ugh!

So, as you well know, I hate technology on so many levels.  If you have read my blog you know this quite well.  But.... the other day.... as I was contemplating the fitted sheet dilemma... a light bulb went off in my head!  The internet!!!!  I will Google "how to fold a fitted sheet"!  If the internet knows when Lindsay Lohan sneezes then surely it will have instructions on "how to fold a fitted sheet"!  Do you know what?  It is so exciting!!!  Not only did the internet have instructions on "how to fold a fitted sheet", there was a VIDEO!!!  And not just one video but NUMEROUS videos by different people.  It was A M A Z I N G !!!!

So I watched several videos, chose the one I felt comfortable with, re-watched it three times, THEN, put my fitted sheet in the dryer to take out the wrinkles, followed the video instructions and    GUESS WHAT!!!????  I folded a DAMN FITTED SHEET!

Until next time,

Anne